Christian Dating Relationships
You Are in the Right Relationship When It Is Helping Your Walk With God, Not Hurting It. Hello, I was lied to about dating and relationships. It started with the purity culture sermons from my pastor. He said that you shall not look at women because you are committing adultery in her heart and your future wife’s heart. Dating was God-directed, prayer was the only way of knowing if the girl was right for me.
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Dating can be an incredibly exciting, but confusing and emotional stage in your life. Many of us were never taught how to have healthy relationships. Unless we take time to learn on our own, we won’t learn until we make mistakes while dating. And Christian dating can be an even more confusing to navigate when you add in trying to find a suitable life partner and also glorify God.
I am not an expert on dating and I made a lot of mistakes during my young adult & teen years. But I can tell you that if I had read or listened to any of these books or podcasts, my life might have looked different. I might have experienced less heartache and made
I don’t believe that dating is “casual” or “for fun” because our hearts are involved. By nature, our hearts are prone to evil and they are fragile. They need to be handled with great care and given proper protection. We were created to desire for relationship and intimacy, but don’t be fooled into thinking that desire will be satisfied by another human being.
That is a role for Jesus only. Only He can love us the way we really desire to be loved; only He can heal and complete and restore. So, go into your dating relationships with Christ as your foundation and let Him guide your choices.
Remember that the partner you are seeking is meant to offer companionship, friendship, and partnership, not completion. I believe that the purpose of dating is to find a partner to build a life with. And the purpose of marriage is to refine us and display the Gospel to the world, not make us happy or fulfill our every desire.
Once you get a hold of that, your relationships will improve because the pressure will be off and you won’t have unrealistic expectations of the other person.
So, here are 10 Books & Podcasts that give incredible wisdom for Christian dating.
Books for Christian Dating
Twogether With Christ Devotional by Chelsea Damon
This book is full of real and relatable content and focuses on growing you in your relationship with each other, but more importantly, with Christ. The author does not shy away from tough topics such as conflict, sex, finances and planning for your future marriage.
The devotionals are based in Scripture and are not meant to replace personal Bible study or devotions, but it is a wonderful supplement. It will bless your dating relationship or can be given as a gift to bless friends, family or loved ones.
Christian Dating Relationship Boundaries
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
If I had to describe this book in one word it would be “real.” Dr. Cloud & Dr. Townsend offer incredible, Biblical wisdom into boundary setting with a purpose in Christian dating relationships. While they don’t shy away from spelling out hard boundary lines, they do so with depth & explanations of why healthy boundaries are important.
They tackle issues such as letting go of the perfect partner, saving sex for marriage, prioritizing friendship with your future partner, and drawing lines with platonic friendships. While I believe dating should be reserved for finding someone to marry and disagree with some of the cavalierness toward dating in this book, it is an incredible resource and gives direct wisdom on how to grow as an individual in your dating life and make it fruitful.
If you want to date intentionally and quit wasting time with the wrong people, this book is for you.
Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life & Love in the Modern Age by Ben Stuart
This book by Ben Stuart covers the “relationship life cycle” that many people circulate through: Singleness, Dating, Engagement & Marriage. While not all will go through all stages, this book offers relationship wisdom for anyone in any stage.
It walks us through how to handle our desperate desire for love and intimacy in an increasingly disconnected world. The author takes your hand and walks you through how to have healthy relationships at every stage, including friendships. Readers of this book often use the term “life changing” or “game-changer” to describe it.
It is a Christ-centered powerhouse of a book and you will not regret reading it. No matter what stage of relationship you are in, the wisdom in this book will greatly bless your life and the relationships of those around you.
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The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating by Andy Stanley
This book utterly debunks the common dating myth that if you just find the “right person” everything will work out. But what if what we really need to focus on is becoming the right person? Andy asserts that our relationship problems are actually relationship problems at all: they are personal problems that become highlighted and unmanageable within the context of a relationship. WOAH.
This book is not for the faint-hearted or for those not willing to do the work to become the right person for their future partner. It is not gentle, but it is full of incredible, practical wisdom that will grow you.
So, if you’re ready to treat relationships as the serious business that they are and do the work on yourself, this book is for you.
Danger Signs of an Unhealthy Dating Relationship by Lou Priolo
The topic of this book is exactly what the title implies. From a Christian perspective, it walks you through red flags to look out for and how to discern “difficulty” from “danger” in relationships. Marriage is a lifetime covenant and who to enter that relationship with is an incredibly important decision.
Love is important in marriage, but it isn’t everything. Certain character traits meshed with yours may make for a difficult life. Everyone should read this book before they get married; if nothing else, as reassurance or confirmation. At best, it may save you from perusing a damaging relationship.
The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person by Jimmy Evans & Frank Martin
I’d call this book a “beginner’s guide” to Christian dating and is an easy-to-read overview of Biblical relationships. If you’re just starting to date or are wanting to dip your toe in the water of dating relationships, this book is for you.
It sets a great foundation and is less intense than some of the other books recommended here. It is certainly lighter and is a great pre-cursor to any of the above books recommended. If you’re new to the scene of Christian dating and need a primer, this is a great choice to read.
Podcasts For Christian Dating
The Heart of Dating Podcastwith Kait Wartman
Building Relationships Podcast with Dr. Gary Chapman
Right to R.E.A.L. Love Podcast with “Jay” Immanuel
Healthy Christian Dating Relationships
Singleness, Sex & Dating Podcast with Perry Noble
I hope these resources blessed you and your dating relationship, friend.
Know that your worth is not found in whom you are dating but by whom you were created. I pray you find an incredible relationship here on earth, but don’t neglect your most important relationship with Jesus. No relationship on earth is more important than that one.
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